Staying Present

"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have."- Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher, author

You've heard about "staying present." It's a throwaway phrase now. But have you ever stopped to think deeper about it? It's pretty profound.

You may not realize it, but you don't live in the present. You are either thinking ahead to the future, or looking back into the past. Or you're on autopilot, going about the normal things you do day in and day out without really noticing it.

Friend, you are wasting your own precious time.

You can't predict the future, and you can't change the past. So why do you spend so much time there? Why is it so hard to be in the moment? How do you even do it anyway?

Let's look. 

Put yourself into the image above. Feel the smoothness of the rocks as you rub them between your hands. Turn your face to the sun to warm you. Hear the ripples of the water in the distance. Breathe the fresh air. 

This is staying present.

It only took a moment, but it's a practice we can bring into our everyday lives.

Staying present means focusing on what's here and now, without internal (thoughts) or external (senses) distractions. When we're present, we are fully in the moment, feeling and experiencing it right then and there.

When the moment is pleasurable for us, it's easier for us to stay in it. Think of a beautiful day at the beach. When it's not, our mind wants to disassociate (more on that in a future post). We don't want to feel the pain, or shame, or whatever emotion is coming up for us in the moment. So we mentally pull away.

But whatever the moment contains, staying present in it is actually beneficial. Why?

Simply put, the most important reason is because it's all we got. We can't make things that already happened unhappen. Nor can we control what hasn't yet. So staying present is the only way to change anything. 

It also helps balance us out. When we spend too much time on the past or the future, we can start to feel anxious or unsettled. In the present, we stay connected to ourselves and to others. 

And some studies equate being present with being happier. Take some examples. Does it make you happier playing games with your family on Sunday night, or stressing about going back to work on Monday? Do you enjoy your vacation more when you're soaking it all in, or do you feel you missed out because you were busy taking pictures? Is it more fun to eat ice cream with your kids, or are you worried about cleaning up later? 

Other purported benefits are better memory, increased focus, and less stress.

It's not easy, though. Our mind's natural state is to wander. So how do we do it?

There are many ways to be and stay present, and they are quick and easy to do. The hard part is remembering to do them. Like any mindfulness practice, it takes some time and intention.

You can try things like:

• Noticing your surroundings -- what's happening around you? Engage all of your senses.

• Not multitasking -- stay focused on one thing -- and one thing only -- at a time.

• Breathing deeply -- stop and take a moment to just breathe deeply. Pay attention to your breath as it goes in and out.

• Moving your body -- exercise or even just simple movements like stretching can help ground you.

• Being accepting -- let go of your expectations for the moment you're in. Simply observe it and let it be, without distracting yourself with other thoughts.

• Taking a break from devices -- spending a lot of time on devices shortens our attention span, and disconnects us from others when we are scrolling through our socials versus paying attention to them.

  
  

Savor your present, friend.