"Greatness begins beyond your comfort zone." - Robin Sharma, leadership expert, writer and coach
We all know the value of getting outside our comfort zone. Yet the practice of being uncomfortable (and being okay with it) is way easier said than done.
For the most part, discomfort is icky. Our nature leans toward "getting it over with" and retreating back into our safety net as quickly as possible, whether it's physical, mental or emotional discomfort.
Growth requires us to spend time in discomfort. Often consistent, ongoing and deliberate discomfort. And humans just don't enjoy it all that much. But the benefits of learning to "be comfortable with being uncomfortable" can shift our mindset. And though we may not always like it, maybe it becomes just a little easier to do.
There are ways to accept and frame our discomfort so we have a healthier outlook, and so that we can find the will to deliberately and steadily choose staying uncomfortable.
I used to hate working out. Too many canceled gym memberships to count, and constant excuses leading to months and years of hundreds and maybe thousands of dollars down the drain because of the lie I told myself that I would start tomorrow. And of course, a thick layer of guilt resting neatly on top of all my intentions.
Like us all, I know the benefits of working out. I know it would make me feel healthier, give me more energy, improve my self-esteem, reshape my body, blah blah. But I also know I'd be sweaty, stinky and hot afterward. I'd need a shower and change of clothes, and I'd be sore and tired.
So despite my knowing, I didn't want to give up my comfort for some discomfort that would actually benefit me.
Why?
Because I was focused on the wrong thing. I was focused on how I wanted to feel, versus who I wanted to be. No one wants to feel tired, or intimidated, or fearful, or embarrassed (i.e., going to the gym). We don't want to risk our present comfort for some nebulous idea of our future self (i.e., a healthy mind and bod).
When we don't pinpoint for our brains exactly what that future outcome looks like for us, our brain works hard to keep us safe. Nothing uncomfortable or scary. It gives us endless reasons to stay on the couch, to keep eating cookies, to binge watch our favorite show.
Yet when we take that one little step to shift our mindset, to pivot from taking action based on how we feel to how and who we want to be, KABOOSH! Mind blown.
So how do you do it?
For starters, keep in mind it's not easy to hold a different version of yourself in your mind. You need to combine the thought of your different self with the emotion of how you will feel as that different self.
For example, if you think that going to the gym will make you healthier and give you more energy, how does that thought make you feel? Are you happy and joyful? Feeling relieved and grateful for your transformation? Raring to go, with boundless amounts of enthusiasm?
Marry the thoughts with your feelings, and you'll create a vision that motivates and sustains you. Remember that this applies not only to a physical change, but to mental, emotional and spiritual ones, too.
Say you're having a hard time with a family member. You're avoiding a conversation, because it's uncomfortable. But what would you like that relationship to look like? How would you feel if you could resolve this issue? Seek the outcome you long for, versus your desire to stay in your comfort zone.
In doing this, the need to be uncomfortable becomes pretty obvious. And our choices do as well. With the working out example, if I keep my vision of who I want to be -- a healthy, energetic individual -- what decision do I make about going to the gym? Of course, I forego my present comfort to not only start, but also to maintain, a workout routine. I work toward my vision and purposely stay in discomfort to grow.
Today, I actually enjoy going to the gym. I established a routine that makes me feel good and proud of myself. Shifting your mindset can be one -- and the first -- step to helping you understand why and how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Other actions to take include doing one small, uncomfortable thing every day, like saying hello to a stranger, perhaps, or telling someone no. Another might be observing yourself when you avoid discomfort: What am I rationalizing and why? What feelings am I pushing away?
Here's some more food for thought:
Staying Uncomfortable: Reads
Constructive Discomfort: How to do what you don't want to do - Psychology Today
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