Fear comes in many forms. Last night, it manifested in a dream as my subconscious grappled with my paragliding appointment today. I came across the opportunity to try paragliding via IfOnly.com, a site offering local experiences that raise money for nonprofits. With a long-established fear of heights, I thought, "What better way to tackle that fear head on?" FFS. What was I thinking?
As I told my coworkers about this adventure, one "helpful" comment was about a video one of my peers recently watched showing an instructor slipping out of his harness and holding on for dear life, ripping the tendons in his arm apart. "But don't watch that video," she laughed. Yeah thanks.
No, I didn't watch that video, but the initial calm and spaciousness I had been holding in my mind and body had been disrupted. Thus the dream. It was a strange one. For some reason, it was like a TV show and @EvanCarmichael was motivational speaking to me in the forefront while I was simultaneously falling from the sky in the background. (Aside: I got to meet Evan at his #Believe Tour2019 when he rolled through San Jose).
Of course, I went straight to what we call in #coachspeak, Interpretation. I entertained the thought that this was a sign that I shouldn't go, something hellacious would happen, I'd die out there, and so on. But as a coach, I also believe that that's BS. Most of the time, those interpretations aren't helpful because they are more about keeping us small. Of course paragliding is a risk, but so are lots of other things. If I shrink from the fear, I stay small, and keep the illusion that I'm safe. Neither of those I want.
I want to step through my fears and keep going. I don't know that we ever truly overcome our fears, but rather we keep moving in spite of them. We keep taking action until the thing that scared us doesn't anymore. And we do it over and over and over. This is how we change, and grow, and transform.
So I will go to that paragliding appointment today. And I'll come back with a different experience.
UPDATE: I did it! Watch the video below, and a huge shout out to Mark @EliteParagliding!